Inspire me

I watched the Notebook last night, written by Nicholas Sparks, he also wrote A Walk To Remember. Stereotypical "chickflicks." The guy likes the girl, the girl likes the guy, they come from different backgrounds, then something comes between them (cancer, family). I haven't seen a movie like this in years, a little less than two years, actually. During the movie, I realized how much I have changed in those two years. I was such a "happy" kid then. I tried to think what was so different from then and now in my life. Back then, my weekends consisted of hanging out with a good friend on Friday night, then he would go home for breakfast Saturday morning, and then we'd hang out in the afternoon until the wee morning of Sunday. Then during the week, I'd be at school, telling stories of my weekend to all the lame people who fit into the category "I could care less if you got hit by a bus." The week was a time for me to regain strength for the weekend, I would look forward to the weekend so much. I miss those times. I don't really understand why those things have stopped, the only conclusion I can really come up with is that it is a defense mechanism. I leave in four and a half months. I am starting fresh, I am leaving everything behind. It's not that I want to leave my two best friends behind and her behind, but Saskatoon is only a coffin for me. A place for me to lay and rot. There are three people whom I actually care not to leave. (I would have said four, but as far as I know, he is coming with me.) So there it is, maybe he hates me because I am leaving him. Should I allow his hate to affect me, or should I try to have as many good times as I can in the next four and a half months? I miss him as a person, he's so closed off now. I miss him more as my brother.