News; Neither Good or Bad

Just Neutral.

I am scared. I am fucking terrified. I don't want to leave, I want to hold onto the memories. The last post was not entirely accurate because I wrote it in a state of anger and bitterness towards myself and my feelings of being terrified.
I WILL miss you all, no matter how much I tell you (and myself) that I won't. You mean so bloody much to me that I cannot even explain. I woke up this morning at Lee's house to a call from my mother saying that my father will be leaving his home to come pick me up tomorrow. I won't be leaving tomorrow, but probably the day after that. Lee wanted to sleep, so I walked downstairs, sat on the couch, and cried like a baby for 45 minutes.

It has finally hit me. No more friends, no more family, no more Arwen. Fucking Uranium City. 900 kilometers away.

I will have access to email. Please keep in touch. graham_tilsley@hotmail.com

This has been the worst day in so long.

I have considered running into traffic with hopes of breaking a leg, if I break a leg, I can't work... If I jump down the stairs, I may break a leg. Or maybe off of my roof.

Too bad I lack the strength.

I am not going to be calling people to say goodbye. I lack the confidence and strength. I'd rather run. I am tired of crying. I think that the only exceptions will be Aaron and Andrew (and of course, Arwen).

So for those who expect a call... Don't.
It doesn't mean I don't care for you, in fact, it means just the opposite. I'm just too tired.

I love you.



(And for those who still want a CD, call 934-7120. Preferably sooner than later, but if you don't call before I leave, still call. I will try to have CD's made for my mom to sell.)

Also, I am going to try and be back for August 26th for a week or so. You can call me then and bitch at me for not saying goodbye.